On married hugs

My dear friend Jo asked me to prepare a blessing for her wedding this past weekend, about something important in a marriage. Here it is (insert a perfect New Hampshire mountain backdrop and a perfect couple!):

On the blessing of married hugs

Jo, Scott, You will have many blessings in your marriage. One of the best is married hugs.

Hugs are the best.  There is no easier or more effective way to love and to feel loved than a hug, both in times of celebration and in rough times.

While the kiss is the highlight of the wedding, the hug is the highlight of marriage.

What is a married hug? The word, hug, comes from the Norwegian word hugga, meaning to comfort. So it’s something comforting. And something about holding someone in your arms.

There are many types of married hugs:

  • The casual ‘just got home’ hug;
  • The ‘bone crushing’ squeeze hug;
  • The ‘Netflix on the sofa’ hug;
  • Various private hugs; and
  • Various public hugs, including one you’ll use today called the ‘don’t mess up my hair’ hug;
  • And perhaps one day the awkward but awesome ‘pregnant hug’,
  • Which prepares you for the inevitable future ‘beer belly’ hug.

Of course, you’ve hugged and been hugged since the day you were born. So what’s new and so special about married hugs?

Starting today, you are now each others’ go-to hugger, more than any other relationship you’ve had. You’ve both lived and traveled far from family and friends. But while you will still spend time apart from each other, your marriage will feel most complete when you are back in hug radius.

And for those times you are apart, look at your hands, at the wedding rings you are exchanging today. There are many things that a wedding ring symbolizes, of course, but I like to think they symbolize a permanent hug.

Jo, Scott, may you enjoy the many blessings of married hugs, as you promise to not just have — but to have and to hold — each other from this day forth.

Liz Aab